Every year for about ten years, I have posted my year-end music wrap up. This was before Spotify sent out everyone’s Wrapped Playlists, I swear. And sure, I’ve missed some years for whatever reason – perhaps they were weird years or I was self conscious about the content I was sharing out to the whole internet. But regardless, it’s something I love and think about throughout the year.
I think about this post literally all year. Throughout the months, I am like yes, this one! This song! This is a defining song of this year! I can’t wait to tell everyone about it if I haven’t already overplayed it at every chance I could get. Usually my posts don’t always include my top 10 songs. Like in 2017, when The Macarena showed up as my #6 most played song.
Anyway, I started writing a draft in July when my life when the fire department finally came out to hose down the dumpster fire of a time that I was having. Like the first half of this year was a ride. But there were a lot of good memories tucked in there, too. That was the funny thing about this year. It felt like the first six months were super challenging, edging me out of things that no longer belonged to me and vice versa, and the second half was the leveling up…the calmness, the work, the time that I needed to take to feel closer to myself. The second half was “normal” with a sprinkle of unforgettable moments.
And hell, I’m now I am here. I’m stronger, thiccer, spicier than ever.
Perhaps, I am a Popeye’s chicken sandwich. You will never know.
Anyway, I was reading over that draft I started in July and lordy. Let’s just say I’m glad I didn’t publish. I thought I was being so responsible getting things drafted in advance. But’s it’s far too much to edit. There were some things that came up in first half of the year that when it was fresh, it was fresh. Like a gash on the leg, still full of gravel from when you jumped off the swing at the playground. But overtime, you gain some perspective on it. And you can still look back and think, “Haha yeah that was a shitty time, but hey, I lived,” without the tears and the band aids that you applied when it just happened.
I love a metaphor.
So I decided to start a new post. I feel like a lot of 2022 was a fresh start, so I guess that makes sense that I am standing here in my kitchen listening to this one song on my Spotify Wrapped that I won’t be adding to my list, trying to figure out okay, wait…which songs did wrap up such a polarizing, different, whirlwindy, happy, wild, dumb, fun, amazing, silly, year that this was?
This year was multifaceted. It was everything. No page unturned. It glittered like the disco balls I hung up in my bedroom. It rained until it stormed. And then then sun shone through even brighter than before. It was a nice, partly cloudy 73 degrees for a majority of it. It was multifaceted.
While I usually go into long, drawn out paragraphs about what each song means to me, I am keeping it simple by writing long, drawn out paragraphs summing up the year instead. Lol. Simplicity. Balance. A couple words I am going into 2023 with. Anyway, here we go.
The songs that defined 2022:
Anti-Hero – Taylor Swift – I have had so many times in my life where I have asked, “Is it me? Am I the problem?” And sometimes, lol yeah, oops. But I used to think it was always me. Somehow I am always in the wrong. Wrong place, wrong people, wrong vibe, wrong words, wrong clothes, whatever. I laugh thinking about how I have repeatedly blamed myself for other people’s bad behavior. Not anymore. There is peace in owning your own faults and not carrying others, too. There is peace in working on yourself to be a better or healthier version of yourself without the guilt of others weighing you down. I’ve realized that maybe everybody is a “sexy baby” and I am a “monster on a hill,” so whatever. “It’s me. Hi.”
Work Song – Hozier – Romantic. Yearning. Hozier should be tried at The Hague for these lyrics. Full stop. Can you imagine your lover dying and then they zombie crawl back home to you because their love for you is THAT STRONG. An older song, but damn, Hozy, baby.
Do I Wanna Know – Hozier (Arctic Monkeys cover) – Okay, this cover is everything. I listen to it every time I have had a crush. The Artic Monkeys original feels raw, drunk, rambling. The Hozier cover feels light, sweet, coy. I love it.
Sunblind – Fleet Foxes – My neighbors made this place feel like home. The roof is home to the best sunsets, the best life lessons learned, and near death experiences by lightning. Fleet Foxes were also my first concert post-pandy…I mean. We’re still kind of dealing with it, but you know what I mean.
Here to Forever – Death Cab for Cutie – I want to write a blog post about the concept of this song, so I’ll keep it short. But this was my second concert that I saw this year and the first concert where you accidentally called yourself my boyfriend.
King – Florence and the Machine – I am king of my body no matter what any old dude who crawls the halls of a building barely older than him says. Something about Florence makes me feel more in tune with what it means to be a woman. The guttural scream towards the end of the song is everything. Call it music, call it female rage, call it beautiful.
You’re On Your Own, Kid – Taylor Swift – I am always the responsible one. The oldest daughter. The one who remembers. The one who carries the balls everyone drops. And when my hands are full and I drop one? Unforgivable. Not just by others, but myself even more so. I am sometimes held to a higher standard than others, and yet, I hold myself to an even higher standard. Sometimes that means I go at things independently because it’s just easier that way. Sometimes I am on my own, feeling like a kid, not really sure which foot I should put forward next, hoping that when I jump off that playground swing, I land on my two feet.
Megan’s Piano – Megan Thee Stallion – “I be workin’. I make moves in silence.” I listen to this song when I want lasagna. Also, when I need to remember who the hell I am.
Meet Me in the Woods – Lord Huron – You know the phrase “out of the woods?” I’m grateful to have had the friends and family to meet me in the woods earlier this year as I navigated whatever life threw at me. Thanks for leading me back to the trail.
Karma – Taylor Swift – Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend as I am driving down Lake Shore Drive. I am just obsessed with this song.
Boss Bitch – Doja Cat – Vote for me for Mayor! My favorite ongoing bit from this year. Maybe I’ll do it one day, I don’t know. If I do, this will be my campaign song.
Goodbye – Marina – In March, I said to a friend, “I feel like I am taking care of everyone, but myself. I feel like I am everyone’s mother and I don’t even have any kids yet.” And then I randomly heard this song and was like SHE GETS IT. And then finally, EXHALE. I’m still the same me, but different. But more than anything, I am thankful for every era of myself that I’ve lived because I feel like I am entering my favorite one yet.
Runner’s Up That I Won’t Be Elaborating On:
Day Light – Harry Styles
Long Lost – Lord Huron
Happiness is a Butterfly – Lana Del Rey
Budget – Megan Thee Stallion
Abandoned Mansion – Dr. Dog
All Your’n – Tyler Childers